Is life really like Sex and The City?

Last Sunday my daughter and I took ourselves to see this very much touted movie.

What came across loud and clear in both the TV series and the movie was the story about 4 friends who stuck together through thick and thin and that part of the story was lovely and how all friendships need to be. If only the story had been more about that it would probably have been very enjoyable.

Unfortunately, although there were a couple of laughs, not only was it long and rather boring there were a few scenes that would have been better off in a porn movie. What I’m writing comes without any kind of judgment, so please don’t throw arrows at me yet!

I know many women are going to disagree with me and that’s OK, we are all entitled to our own opinions and I’d love to hear some of yours.

Are real women like these four? Is New York really a hive of very needy women?

Somehow I don’t think so!

This is really what the movie portrayed as well as friendship. In the TV series it was 4 needy women looking for love in all the wrong places. This is initially how Miranda got pregnant. Charlotte desperately wanted to be married and looked until after changing many things in her life, she actually found the ‘right’ man.

Although, it finally ended up OK, (don’t want to give away the ending if you haven’t seen it) in the TV show Carrie couldn’t detach from Big long enough to give herself the chance of someone really great loving her so she continually went in and of the relationship with Big, which would actually be considered ‘really dysfunctional.’ Poor Samantha was really the neediest of the four. Terrified of commitment, she wanted money, attention and sex and sex and sex. When someone needs that much sex to fill them up, it’s called an addiction.

I realize this is a movie and is supposed to be for entertainment however I’ve also read some of the comments that men have left on various sites and their comments about women based on this movie are not pretty. I’d hate for any teenage girl to see this movie and think this is what she has to look forward to in her 30’s and 40’s.

So, why am I writing about this in a self growth blog for women? Because it’s important! If you relate to any one of them, especially during their TV show years don’t stay stuck. I know what it’s like to be needy, to go in and out of the wrong relationships continually looking for love to fill the emptiness.

It took me 10 years of personal work to find myself. When I did, I realized there was really only one person I absolutely ‘needed’ in my life. Me!!

Would I like a man in my life? It would be very nice if he was the right man, however I’m also OK if I don’t have a man in my life. I finally fell in love with me in a very healthy way. I came to realize that I am not defined by a man, a car, money, parents, children, a house or anything I’m only defined by who I am.

That’s why I wrote this. If you have issues around relationships or with yourself please get some kind of help. Fall in love with yourself first and you will no longer make the wrong choices. You don’t have to settle just so you won’t be alone. You deserve to be loved for the beautiful woman you are. Enjoy your life, have fun, laugh with friends and treat yourself with the dignity and respect you deserve. You are a brilliant light in this world.

‘til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance

PS. If you live in or around the LA area on June 25th, I’m facilitating a 2 hour workshop at the Bodhi Tree on Melrose titled, “Say Yes To You” – Stop Living on the Sidelines and step into the Game of Life. 7.30p.m. – 9.30 p.m. You can throw your arrows at me then if you attendJ
For more information go to http://www.theastonishingpowerofyou.com/yes.htm

Make yourself number one.

Having spent 4 days exhibiting my best selling book at Book Expo. America it’s been a very interesting, energizing yet exhausting couple of weeks which is also the reason there was no copy for the blog last week.

The one thing that came across very clearly from talking to the dozens of people who stopped at the booth, is that women are still not totally OK with making themselves number One.

Sometimes when I first start working with clients, they find it very strange to think about putting themselves and their needs at the top of the list. Make yourself number one. Obviously not to the detriment of some one-else. However, you will be more effective, energized and productive if you take care of yourself first.

Whether you’re a working professional, a stay at home mother, work and manage a family or you are a working single mother, I highly encourage you to “Say Yes to YOU” first. Your business won’t fall apart, your family won’t go without, your house won’t collapse if it’s not perfect.

Take small steps to start. Five minutes a day to just sit quietly, light a candle, read a book, meditate or whatever it is you truly want to do with the time. After a week expand to ten minutes and so on until you are actually taking at least 30 minutes every day to just be with you.

If I had known that it was OK for me to take time for me when I had a family at home I would have saved myself many stressful days. Now, no matter what, I take at least 30 minutes a day that is set aside without any interruptions, just for me. Give it a try. You deserve it.

“til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance

PS. For those people who live in or near Los Angeles, on June 25th, I will be facilitating a 2 hour workshop ”Say Yes To You” Stop Living on the Sidelines” at the Bodhi Tree on Melrose Avenue. Space is limited. Advance reservations $20. If you are interested in attending please email info@theastonishingpowerofyou.com and you will be at the top of the list.

PPS. Sign up for my free six week e-course at www.theastonishingpowerofyou.com and you will also receive the powerful internationally read Monday Motivator.

Think about what you do have.

I hope everyone had a really super Memorial day weekend. I don’t know what it’s like in your part of the country/world, however for all the fact that everyone here in the US is complaining about the cost of gas being more than $4 a gallon, there were cars galore on the freeway.

Although it may seem not at times, we really do have things great here in the US. As with everything else it’s about perception. Yes, gas has gone up, however in Europe they are paying the equivalent of $8 a gallon and food is twice as expensive as it is here. How about we all look again at what we do have, not at what we don’t have.

I’m off to exhibit this week at Book Expo. America which is in Los Angeles and will be there from Thursday 29th – June 1st. It should be fun, exciting and exhausting and I’m really looking forward to it. Thank god they don’t allow smoking in any of the public places in LA any more so at least the air won’t be clouded with smoke.

I have a couple of really great new hypnosis CD’s if anybody is interested in increasing their wealth, zapping negative thinking or if you do happen to smoke and would really like to stop there’s a great stop smoking CD too. Check them out at www.theastonishingpowerofyou.com/hypnosis. and you will find information at the bottom of the page.

Have a great week.
‘Til Next Time
To Your Success and Brilliance


PS. If you haven’t already signed up for my Free Six Lesson ECourse go to www.theastonishingpowerofyou.com and sign up now. You will also receive the Monday Motivator quote which gives your week a good kickstart.

PPS. New Hypnosis CD’s at www.theastonishingpowerofyou.com/hypnosis.

Humility and Gratitude

I recently went to an award event at which six or seven women were honored for their efforts in one area or another. The reason I’m writing about it here is that I never cease to be astounded how little has changed.

I always pay very careful attention to the words people use because it’s one of the things I do to help my clients move faster along their path.

The organizers of the event had written lovely, positive accolades about each woman based on what they had achieved which were read to the room by the MC for the day before handing out the award.

The women receiving the awards used words like, I don’t deserve this, I don’t know why I’m receiving this, I didn’t do anything my assistant did it all and one went so far as to say I don’t think I’m any of the things that have been said about me. People had nominated these women, people thought these great things about them and in a few words all that was said had been negated. I thought perhaps it was my imagination however the people sitting on either side of me noticed the same thing.

Not one said, ‘Thank you so much I’m really honored. I’m glad I was able to make a difference. I would also like to thank all the people in my business that supported me, without whom it would have been very challenging.”

There’s a difference between having humility and gratitude and coming from a place of grace because we know we deserve it. Thinking well of ourselves, being proud of ourselves is OK, it doesn’t have to come from having a big ego. Having humility doesn’t mean we have to negate ourselves. Unfortunately so many women have received the message that we have to be ‘good girls, ’ it’s not nice to think we’re great, it’s selfish, who do we think we are etc. etc. and it’s so well ingrained on an unconscious level that it takes away from what we truly deserve. Change the message; if someone says something nice or gives you a gift, you deserve it.

Please remember that when someone does something nice for you, whatever it might be, or gives you praise, the person is giving you a gift, don’t take that away from them, however much you might want to accept graciously don’t say, it’s too expensive or whatever, bite your tongue and just say thank you. The more often you do this, the easier and more natural it will become and on an unconscious level the old negative messages are replaced with positive confident beliefs.

‘Til next time
Have a wonderful week.
To Your Success and Brilliance

Women and Power

Happy Mother’s day albeit a little late. If you’re a Mother it’s not just the one day that’s important, it’s how you are treated every day.

In my 67 years I’ve been through many different phases in my life, including having to find fulfillment from within and women and their power still fascinates me. We are one of the few countries who haven’t yet had a woman President. It intrigues me that here in the US, women still in many ways take second place.

Don’t gun me down for what I’m writing this week. It’s without judgment. Honesty often it hurts, yet truth is what really makes the world go round.

From the research I’ve read although women owned businesses are the fastest growing in number, we often still don’t have equality when it comes to salary. Yet, when it comes to emotions most men will tell you that they think we are by far, much stronger and more powerful than men.

It’s time that every woman said “yes to herself.” You deserve to feel powerful (not controlling) not from ego, just because you’re you. You deserve to have a family if that’s what you want while you are still young enough to do it easily.

I hear too many women saying, I have to be successful first, then I can have a family. Suddenly they are 40 and find they were so busy being successful, they forgot to have children. Being successful doesn’t make it easier to have a child it makes it a lot more expensive and unless you’re very fortunate instead of staying home and spending time with your little one during their childhood, you’re back at work paying the huge medical bills.

You deserve to have money, abundance and respect and you certainly deserve to believe in yourself. You truly can do anything you choose.

I’m being interviewed by Maureen O’Crean of Distinctively Diva on Wednesday May 14th and we will be talking about the topic “Say Yes to You – Stop Living on the Sidelines and Step into the game of Life." To register for the call you will find all the details at www.distinctivelydiva.com/index2a.html . 7p.m. Pacific time, 10p.m. Eastern.

If you live anywhere near the Los Angeles area, on June 25th, I will be presenting a two hour workshop on ‘Say Yes to You.’ I will include more about this in my blog in future issues..

That’s all I have to say for now. You were born to have prosperity and abundance, become the authentic you again and stop doubting yourself. Unless you’re being attacked by something, fear isn’t real, it’s just a thought :) Think positively and celebrate yourself.

‘til next time
Have a fantastic week
To Your Success and Brilliance

How Do You Define Yourself?

Because of answers I was receiving from clients recently I asked the question “How do you define yourself?” The answers led me to write about this really important question this week. I started asking people, mainly women, around me the same question.

It saddened me to hear some of the answers I received. One woman defined herself by her husband and children, another by her level of financial success, one by being the daughter of a well known personality and so forth. Only a few women defined themselves just by being who they are.

I used to define myself by how successful I was, by a husband, by my children, education, by what other people thought of me. I didn’t realize that left me with something lacking! Obviously we are defined by many things as we go through the stages of ‘growing up.’ It never occurred to me back then that I was a person in my own right and that the only definition that really counts is being defined by who I am.

Take a look at how you define yourself. Don’t say what you think you ‘should’ or ‘must’ say, be gut honest. It’s OK if you have been defining yourself by things outside of you. Giving yourself the gift of honesty about this will allow you to grow even greater. If you have been defining yourself from outside, you can start to work on defining yourself by ‘who’ you are and the gifts you bring to the world.

You are ‘who you are’ not because someone or something made you that way but just because you’re you. A wonderful brilliant light in the world. Allow yourself to shine brightly.

Have a wonderful week.
‘til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance

Play to Your Strengths!

Hi Everyone,

I hope you’ve had a great April. Here we are and tomorrow is May 1st. How time flies!

I was recently asked to write an article for someone in business and after giving it some thought decided to write about how we use what we have and yet we’re often struggling to increase those parts of us that are not so strong. I thought I’d put a few lines down in the blog this week to give everyone the opportunity to focus on the strengths I’m sure you all have.

We all have strengths and weaknesses, whether in business or in life and people will more often than not attempt to bring their weakest areas up to the same level as the strengths they have. I really don’t encourage this; it’s not the best way to go!

When we focus on the areas that we consider to be our weakest, we often end up diluting our ability to play to the strengths, making it more challenging to achieve our goals and desires in life. Concentrate on playing to your strengths.

As a business and life coach it’s often my job to brainstorm with clients to find out why they are not where they want to be, whether it’s professionally or personally. I often have people do a simple exercise so they can really see what they need to concentrate on.

Take a sheet of paper and divide into two columns. Head one column: My Strengths and the other column My Weakest Areas.

Don’t ask anyone else their opinion about your strengths, it’s important to be honest with yourself, after all you know yourself better than anyone else.

When you’ve completed both lists write down how many times each day you only play to your strengths. And, how many times you hold yourself back or it takes more time to do something because you want to do it all!

One of my strengths is patience and seeing that there is a solution in any situation. One of my weaknesses is I don’t have great computer skills. I hand off everything I am not comfortable doing on the computer and focus on teaching people how to achieve what they want in life.

Once you can see these two areas fully, you have a choice. You can of course always move forward doing what you’ve always done, your path being a little rocky and perhaps even unfulfilling or you can start to really focus on all your strengths and delegate your weakest areas to others who have those characteristics as their strength. This way everyone wins.

Absolutely everything is a mindset. Every result you create in life comes from the way you think. You have a thought it creates a feeling, which creates an action that equals the result.

When we change our thinking we change our lives. Always remember change is inevitable, transformation is a choice.

Have a fantastic week. ‘Til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance


PS. If you haven’t already, sign up for my Free 6 lesson E-course, The Astonishing Power of You and also receive the weekly Monday Motivator Quotes. www.theastonishingpowerofyou.com