Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Is life really like Sex and The City?

Last Sunday my daughter and I took ourselves to see this very much touted movie.

What came across loud and clear in both the TV series and the movie was the story about 4 friends who stuck together through thick and thin and that part of the story was lovely and how all friendships need to be. If only the story had been more about that it would probably have been very enjoyable.

Unfortunately, although there were a couple of laughs, not only was it long and rather boring there were a few scenes that would have been better off in a porn movie. What I’m writing comes without any kind of judgment, so please don’t throw arrows at me yet!

I know many women are going to disagree with me and that’s OK, we are all entitled to our own opinions and I’d love to hear some of yours.

Are real women like these four? Is New York really a hive of very needy women?

Somehow I don’t think so!

This is really what the movie portrayed as well as friendship. In the TV series it was 4 needy women looking for love in all the wrong places. This is initially how Miranda got pregnant. Charlotte desperately wanted to be married and looked until after changing many things in her life, she actually found the ‘right’ man.

Although, it finally ended up OK, (don’t want to give away the ending if you haven’t seen it) in the TV show Carrie couldn’t detach from Big long enough to give herself the chance of someone really great loving her so she continually went in and of the relationship with Big, which would actually be considered ‘really dysfunctional.’ Poor Samantha was really the neediest of the four. Terrified of commitment, she wanted money, attention and sex and sex and sex. When someone needs that much sex to fill them up, it’s called an addiction.

I realize this is a movie and is supposed to be for entertainment however I’ve also read some of the comments that men have left on various sites and their comments about women based on this movie are not pretty. I’d hate for any teenage girl to see this movie and think this is what she has to look forward to in her 30’s and 40’s.

So, why am I writing about this in a self growth blog for women? Because it’s important! If you relate to any one of them, especially during their TV show years don’t stay stuck. I know what it’s like to be needy, to go in and out of the wrong relationships continually looking for love to fill the emptiness.

It took me 10 years of personal work to find myself. When I did, I realized there was really only one person I absolutely ‘needed’ in my life. Me!!

Would I like a man in my life? It would be very nice if he was the right man, however I’m also OK if I don’t have a man in my life. I finally fell in love with me in a very healthy way. I came to realize that I am not defined by a man, a car, money, parents, children, a house or anything I’m only defined by who I am.

That’s why I wrote this. If you have issues around relationships or with yourself please get some kind of help. Fall in love with yourself first and you will no longer make the wrong choices. You don’t have to settle just so you won’t be alone. You deserve to be loved for the beautiful woman you are. Enjoy your life, have fun, laugh with friends and treat yourself with the dignity and respect you deserve. You are a brilliant light in this world.

‘til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance
PS. If you live in or around the LA area on June 25th, I’m facilitating a 2 hour workshop at the Bodhi Tree on Melrose titled, “Say Yes To You” – Stop Living on the Sidelines and step into the Game of Life. 7.30p.m. – 9.30 p.m. You can throw your arrows at me then if you attendJ
For more information go to

Monday, June 9, 2008

Make yourself number one.

Having spent 4 days exhibiting my best selling book at Book Expo. America it’s been a very interesting, energizing yet exhausting couple of weeks which is also the reason there was no copy for the blog last week.

The one thing that came across very clearly from talking to the dozens of people who stopped at the booth, is that women are still not totally OK with making themselves number One.

Sometimes when I first start working with clients, they find it very strange to think about putting themselves and their needs at the top of the list. Make yourself number one. Obviously not to the detriment of some one-else. However, you will be more effective, energized and productive if you take care of yourself first.

Whether you’re a working professional, a stay at home mother, work and manage a family or you are a working single mother, I highly encourage you to “Say Yes to YOU” first. Your business won’t fall apart, your family won’t go without, your house won’t collapse if it’s not perfect.

Take small steps to start. Five minutes a day to just sit quietly, light a candle, read a book, meditate or whatever it is you truly want to do with the time. After a week expand to ten minutes and so on until you are actually taking at least 30 minutes every day to just be with you.

If I had known that it was OK for me to take time for me when I had a family at home I would have saved myself many stressful days. Now, no matter what, I take at least 30 minutes a day that is set aside without any interruptions, just for me. Give it a try. You deserve it.

“til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance

PS. For those people who live in or near Los Angeles, on June 25th, I will be facilitating a 2 hour workshop ”Say Yes To You” Stop Living on the Sidelines” at the Bodhi Tree on Melrose Avenue. Space is limited. Advance reservations $20. If you are interested in attending please email and you will be at the top of the list.

PPS. Sign up for my free six week e-course at and you will also receive the powerful internationally read Monday Motivator.