Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Shoulda, Coulda, Have to!!

I think these words were almost like a mantra during my most developmental childhood years “you should”, “You could,” “You must,” “You have to.” They became ingrained into my subconscious, as are most things we see and hear as children during our young years.

As I discovered over the course of 60 years, I wasn’t the only one who received these messages. I’d go so far as to say that probably, from my experience with people and with clients, that about 95% of the population live their lives with this kind of thinking.

Unfortunately, this is really detrimental to our growth, spiritually, personally and professionally. When we think this way, we are not following our own path, we are following the path of someone else through the messages we have stored on the subconscious level.

There are no, shoulds, musts, could, have to, there’s really only what it is that you love to do and are passionate about doing. When you find yourself saying or even hearing these words, ask yourself a couple of questions. “Who said I should or must.” Do I think it’s necessary? Is it something I really want to do or am I doing it because I think I’m supposed to and will feel guilty if I don’t?” “Will doing this get me closer to the results I want in life or business?”

Hopefully, your answer will be no, I’m doing this because I really want to because it’s something that makes me happy.

The great thing about life is that dreams can come true. If your’s are not materializing the way you want take a look at the words you are using. The words we use = the way we are thinking = the action we take = the results we create.

Build your life for you, set goals for you, and achieve your dreams for you. You don’t need someone else’s validation to live the life you want.

‘Til next time
To Your Success and Brilliance

PS. If you haven’t yet signed up for my free six lesson ecourse and the new Monday Motivator sign up at

Thursday, September 13, 2007

When you don’t have control let it go!

Last week I was having huge challenges with my outlook email program and for over 24 hours couldn’t send email or receive it through the usual channels. When running a business this can result in huge issues. Without professional help there was little I could do. This was out of my control. Thank god I learned many years ago, that if I don’t personally have control over something I need to make a choice to let it go. Life happens, no matter what. Getting stressed is not the answer.

This was not something I myself could resolve. Even my fabulous VA Mandi couldn’t resolve this one. I sat on the phone with the hosting company for what seemed like hours both Wednesday and Thursday. I was on hold at times, for as long as 15 minutes.

20 years ago, I didn’t have the patience I have today. I would not have been able to let go. I would have driven myself insane trying to make it work, got more and more irritated and stressed and then would still have to call someone to fix things.

These days, nothing is so important that I have to allow it to cause me stress or impatience. Instead I made a conscious decision that my business wouldn’t fall apart if I didn’t have email for a while, I could use the time to work on other things. It actually was a plus. I got a lot more achieved with this mindset, didn’t have to bother with email and never had a moment of stress.

I have a framed copy of the serenity prayer on the bookshelf in my office. I often use this to remind me about patience and control. Like the majority of people I’ve worked with over the past 25 years, I too come from a place where being in control and being perfect was almost part of my DNA. I’ve proven that this kind of thinking can be changed. For those of you who might not know the serenity prayer:

“God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change, the Courage to Change the Things I Can And the Wisdom to Know the Difference.”

Whether in your personal or professional life, remember that learning to be patient and letting go of control will help you to create a life that is more grounded and peaceful.

‘Til next time
Success and Brilliance

PS. Watch for details of my new Discovery Circle starting very soon. A place to learn, grow, discover and connect with others. There are lots of goodies in store for you.

PPS. If you haven’t yet signed up for my six lesson FR*E ecourse go to We now also have a new weekly motivator that goes directly into your email box each Monday to kick start your week.

Monday, September 10, 2007

You are worthwhile

Sometimes we’re in the right place at the right time and that’s where I felt I was on Saturday. I attended the Los Angeles Chapter of National Speakers Association Conference in Palm Springs, which if you know where this is, you know it was hot, actually around 110 degrees. Thank God for air-conditioning.

I had the pleasure of listening to many wonderful speakers. However, what spoke most highly to me, was not just that they were successful or great speakers, they were great people. One in particular left a very vivid image on my mind.

I had the honor of being at a round table session with Robert Danzig, the head of the Hearst Corporation, Dean of Hearst Management Institute. I’m sure you know the company I mean. The most incredible quality about this man was his humility and authenticity. His story of success is quite remarkable. I can’t share it all here, however, I’d like to share with you something he spoke about. If you would like to know more about him, his books and work go to

This man was raised in the foster care system, no family, no comforts, no money, no nothing. When he was 11 yrs. old a social worker said to him, “you are worthwhile,” that was his first step in self worth. He stood on her shoulders. When he was 16 yrs. old, an office manager at his first job, (yes, 16. He did eventually attend college and received a fellowship to Stanford University,) said that she believed he was “full of promise.” That gave him the impetus to have ambition. He stood on her shoulders too.

He says; “seek out those who offer you their shoulders to stand on. Be open to people who offer to stand shoulder to shoulder with you if you are facing any kind of adversity. Welcome people who inspire you to keep going when you come across stones and boulders along your journey. The only requirement you need is to be the seeker – the willing vessel to allow others to be your source of strength.”

I’m in my 60’s and from my own life experiences I know that no matter what your background, race, religion, size, age, education or current situation, the only thing that can stop you from achieving what you want in life is yourself. You have as much inner courage and strength as you choose to use. You can do what Bob Danzig has done, if you so choose.

‘Til next time

To Your Success and Brilliance
PS. Check out the new Free stuff, programs and products for personal and professional growth at

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Time for New Beginnings

Here we are in September. The end of summer is near and I see this as a time for new beginnings. Labor Day is over, the kids go back to school, people are back from vacation and it’s time to ‘start’ thinking about next year’s intentions, goals and successes. Not including this month, there are 3 months left until the end of 2007 and it’s never too early to start planning.

When I talk about success, I’m not just talking about financial success. There are many different kinds of success. The word might mean different things to different people. I recently heard someone say, “Wealthy people have money but people with money are not necessarily wealthy.”

In my 60 plus years, I have certainly found this to be true. I’ve met many millionaires over the years who seem to have everything, yet they are not happy.

Although money and things often make life easier, they don’t necessarily make our lives better. Money doesn’t always create freedom. In fact, money is often used as a band-aid. Real freedom and success is created from within. Success is how you see it in your life, what it means to you, not what it means to someone else.

According to the dictionary the word Success means, “a favorable result that one has hoped for.”

I often ask new clients the following question, it tells me a lot about where they are coming from within. My request would be that you answer this one for yourself.

“What does success mean to me.”

‘Til next time
Success and Brilliance

PS. For a Free copy of my Success Journal click here: