Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Is Entitlement Important?

Sometimes I write about topics that may not seem relevant to business or even to life. However entitlement can create real challenges without people even realizing. Let me first say, this is written without judgment or criticism.

What do I mean when I say entitled? The word entitle in the dictionary states that it means to have the right or claim. People who have entitlement issues are usually more self absorbed and also have more feelings of self importance making them think that they don’t have to respect other people in the same way they want to be respected. Talking the talk is not the same as walking it.

Have you ever received an email or call from someone and decided that you don’t have to reply because you don’t have time, after all you have so many more important things to do, or some kind of thinking along those lines? Are you always late for appointments and always find an excuse for being late and justify it to yourself as a ‘so what,’ everyone knows I’m always late so it’s not important?

I have learned that not returning a call or email within 24-48 hours, however busy you are, lacks integrity and also conveys lack of respect. The same applies to punctuality. Five minutes early or 5-7 minutes late is acceptable. If you are mostly 10-20 minutes late for appointments, whether it’s business or social, it conveys the message that the other person is not important and somewhere deep down you are feeling that you, for whatever reason, are entitled to act this way.

Men are often heard to say about their wife, girlfriend or partner, “she always keeps me waiting she’s never ready on time.” Why is this? Don’t tell me it’s because it takes you longer to get ready. Start earlier, you’d be surprised what a difference it makes to how the other person feels when you’re ready on time.

Many, many years ago, I would say I had entitlement issues. On some level I needed to believe that I was more important than other people so it was OK not to return a call, not to reply to a note and to be late for nearly everything. This came from a deeper feeling of not having enough self worth.

Although I’m certainly not perfect, far from it I suspect :), when someone takes the time to send me a note of appreciation for something and sometimes I receive quite a few, doesn’t matter how busy I am, I always take the time to reply personally to each one. So what if it takes an extra few minutes out of my day. People are always so delighted when they receive a thank you.

I encourage you to be honest with yourself. Do you feel that you are ‘entitled’ to be late, not reply to a call or email, that this is just who you are? Or, this is not using my time productively or effectively. That to me is a total cop-out and means that deep down you really do feel you are more important than other people. Everyone is special and everyone deserves respect. You may not agree with me, however give it a try. It certainly makes you more attractive to the Universe. Whether professionally or personally letting others feel that you respect them and that they are important, shows that you have integrity.

‘Til Next Time
To Your Success & Brilliance



Kristen King, Inkthinker said...

Great post, Hazel. A lot of people take it for granted that their time or WHATEVER is more important than decency or respect for others, but we need wake-up calls like this to remember that other people matter.


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