Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Humility and Gratitude

I recently went to an award event at which six or seven women were honored for their efforts in one area or another. The reason I’m writing about it here is that I never cease to be astounded how little has changed.

I always pay very careful attention to the words people use because it’s one of the things I do to help my clients move faster along their path.

The organizers of the event had written lovely, positive accolades about each woman based on what they had achieved which were read to the room by the MC for the day before handing out the award.

The women receiving the awards used words like, I don’t deserve this, I don’t know why I’m receiving this, I didn’t do anything my assistant did it all and one went so far as to say I don’t think I’m any of the things that have been said about me. People had nominated these women, people thought these great things about them and in a few words all that was said had been negated. I thought perhaps it was my imagination however the people sitting on either side of me noticed the same thing.

Not one said, ‘Thank you so much I’m really honored. I’m glad I was able to make a difference. I would also like to thank all the people in my business that supported me, without whom it would have been very challenging.”

There’s a difference between having humility and gratitude and coming from a place of grace because we know we deserve it. Thinking well of ourselves, being proud of ourselves is OK, it doesn’t have to come from having a big ego. Having humility doesn’t mean we have to negate ourselves. Unfortunately so many women have received the message that we have to be ‘good girls, ’ it’s not nice to think we’re great, it’s selfish, who do we think we are etc. etc. and it’s so well ingrained on an unconscious level that it takes away from what we truly deserve. Change the message; if someone says something nice or gives you a gift, you deserve it.

Please remember that when someone does something nice for you, whatever it might be, or gives you praise, the person is giving you a gift, don’t take that away from them, however much you might want to accept graciously don’t say, it’s too expensive or whatever, bite your tongue and just say thank you. The more often you do this, the easier and more natural it will become and on an unconscious level the old negative messages are replaced with positive confident beliefs.

‘Til next time
Have a wonderful week.
To Your Success and Brilliance

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